Asking For What We Want In The Bedroom
We deserve to have the best sex of our lives. Much of this starts with asking the right questions and, even more specifically, asking our partner for what we want in bed. As the saying goes, 'It's never too late to teach an old dog new tricks.' And when it comes to sex, there are always "new tricks" to learn.
A healthy relationship starts with good communication, and asking for what we want, in bed, is the ultimate test to those communication skills.
The ability to ask our partner to help fulfill our deepest desires starts from within. Know Thyself! Knowing our own sexual nature helps to build the confidence and comfortability to ask for what we want.
Here are some helpful tips:
1. Speak from your Heart
When we speak from our heart space, we are able to communicate our truth authentically. Expressing our desires, in a loving way, to our partner, in a way they can understand, is our best chance of success.
2. Start Small to Think Big
Make small efforts to reach big goals. If we are building confidence or if our desires are big and possibly overwhelming; take is slow! Asking for small things can help ease our partner into the awareness of our innermost desires.
3. Role-Playing
If our partner is too sensitive for the raw truth of big desires. Perhaps a little fantasy role-playing can help create a safe space in the bedroom. Sometimes old relationship patterns can limit creativity without us even knowing it. So, a little fantasy adventure can reshape old patterns and open us up to new sexual possibilities.
4. Play a Game
Fantasy can be fun. However, staying true to our authentic selves is the best way to connect inwardly and with our partner. Play a sex game - like Sacred Sex Game. The use of fun communication tools can challenge and inspire us to dig deeper while remaining true to ourselves and each other.
5. Show and Tell
Sometimes the best way is the self-way. Do not be afraid to show our partner "exactly" how we want to be touched, kissed, spoken to, etc. Inspire each other to try new sexual positions; open a sex book, scroll the internet, or flip through the posture cards of Sacred Sex Game. Stay connected and challenge each other with fresh ideas.
6. Personal Boundaries and Respect
When asking for what we want in the bedroom, it is always best to be respectful and honor each other's personal boundaries. Know intimately and openly each other's sexual boundaries. Never give orders to each other (unless this has been clearly defined as part of play). Remain emotionally available for each other when giving and receiving.
Sex is one of the greatest gifts we are given in this life. Remember, have fun, and play your way to fulfillment.
By Shane and Heather
Creators of Sacred Sex Game
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